Human Addiction

A rehabilitation centre maybe, somewhere, cramped and isolated, to keep all the addicts together, make sure that the world doesn't sneer at them, and then the palm greens, start reminding you of someone, some thought, and then you kneel, and pray that you have enough strength to still remember of the one person, who has been the biggest drug in your life, and you fail to point the finger on it, it is as though it is a crime to say it loud, strong. You pray because you know no matter how hard you try, you can't get over the thought, the thought of a part of you slashed away, and you want to meet that person again, and ask your slashed away part to be returned back to you.

Okay, maybe another scene- a farm house, somewhere deep in the fields, with happiness and abundance all around you, the sound of animals and the sound of silence all together, as though it is a form of meditation, levitating, trying to lift you up, above the evil and nastiness and bitterness all around you, but you can't lift yourself up because you have been strapped with the memory, and the boots are heavy, painful but you can't throw them away. You just wish and pray that the blisters don't get too sore because that might actually kill you, or maybe you just want to die because you cannot rejoice in the happiness anymore, it stings, like those painful tears that you used to soak the pillows.

Maybe another scene- You are at the centre of the most nefarious society, booze, drugs, hallucinogens, all around you, a lavish show of sex and lust, and you want to drown in it, because you are done with the purity, you had enough, you have given too much love and now you have nothing left for yourself besides self-pity, remorse and maybe that pain that still is somewhere deep down in your heart that is questioning you- how could you let it happen, how could you let that small pure heart of yourself blacken, what were you thinking? The sad part is, the heart is still pure, it wants to mend itself but you don't want to give it the chance, you want to drown but your body is buoyant, it is incapable of drowning in this picture, you know your body, your self doesn't belong here- maybe no one belongs in this frame, maybe everyone is pretending!

Maybe you should STOP for a while and realize- this is addiction, the purest form, the most good-intended, the highest high of your life, the HUMAN ADDICTION. Maybe you should stop to see how much you have learnt from this, your weaknesses and your fragility, and maybe you should stop to see that learning is not always about "changing things when you know it hurts", sometimes it goes deeper than that, it is about realizing what you are and how strong you are. It is about the knowledge that you being a human are capable of giving yourself to that strongest bond in humanity, where you can stretch yourself to any extent for the simplest joy- of seeing someone happy! Maybe you should stop to realize that you don't need to go to a rehabilitation centre to get out of addiction, you don't have to live a recluse life among the silence to get away from memories, you don't have to drown in other forms of addiction- You are here, in the present, learning about yourself, unveiling the mystery.

Maybe I should stop telling you what to do, maybe you should figure it out for yourself.