On the grind

Sometimes you know that it is ultimately wrong, something won't work out- What is more difficult, to keep pursuing it despite the knowledge that it would never work, or to let it go sandily, after hanging on to it so strong for such a long time? Time passes, people die, some live, some continue...

The good thing about having an addiction to work- being a workaholic is that you are always on the grind, emotions and thoughts that are related to pain are usually left behind, all you have with you is over-caffeinated blood stream, blood shot eyes after a couple of hours sleep, bad cracking back... but you feel the heart-beat, the one that says "its fun".

One part of me says that I am lucky, I have been with a few people whose presence I cherished so much that I would rather be with that individual than anything/anyone else at that moment- I have been truly HAPPY, and maybe that is what causes this pain of not being able to feel that again. Not be able to be at that point, all I can do now is just be with the moment, and enjoy it- I do, but that soul, the happiness is missing.