in one day

Suddenly it occurred to me, what would I do or choose to do, if i had only one day left on this earth. When I look back, I see my answers have changed all these years (yes, I have always been obsessed with death, dying and the wishes that are left behind)! Now, after maybe a year + few months, when I ponder over the same question again, my answers are changing, or maybe taking different forms...

There was a time when I thought i would do everything and anything rebellious! there was also a time when i thought i would just get wasted, maybe do something really really crazy or scary, but looks like those things are not appealing anymore! Now, if i has only one day in my life left, maybe i would turn back the pages, look back all those lives that have touched me and then tell those people how much they meant to me. I used to think that it was no point of saying those things because i was going away anyways and it would bring an empty sadness to those lives, but now maybe i think differently. Its not about the empty sadness, its about completing the circle of life, laughing joyously, at anything and everything as though it was all a fun ride! It is about being vulnerable and being proud of that ability to be vulnerable- tears are not an aspect of shame, they are the boldest form of emotion! It is all about how I felt, about myself and others!

The only problem I see is that there would be so many people i would need to meet, thank and say how amazing they were. There are so many lives that touched me, so many GURUs that I had, who taught me, made me what i am today. There are so many emotions that helped me grow- mentally, spiritually and emotionally, so many hearts that came across and helped me walk in this path of life-towards the truth (of myself) and maybe for the good. Would I have enough time in one day to say this too all these people? maybe not! So, maybe every night I should have that prayer for everyone on my lips that i am grateful- for the love, the joy and the wisdom that has been bestowed upon me (knowingly or unknowingly)- thank you, I am proud that I had so many spirits in my life who showed me the way!

metta!